To my ladies

A few weeks ago I was privileged to attend a "Time Out for Women" event in Long Beach with my mom, aunts, and cousin's wife.  It's an inspirational religious/self improvement conference geared toward Mormon women and Christian women in general.  I was looking forward to spending a relaxing Saturday with women I love and my new little baby while Byron watched the other three crazies, but the event itself far surpassed my expectations.

I won't go into details about the compelling speakers, moving music, and awesome company, but I feel the need to follow-up on one of my biggest takeaways from the day.  Spending time with a large group of like-minded women, and pondering and talking about women's needs, talents, abilities, and potential, I realized just how many inspiring women I've been blessed to associate with and learn from the past few years.  During my married life, there have been more times than I'd like when I've felt lonely, pretty friendless, and even isolated from other women.  Not that I've ever truly been alone, but I've definitely had "gaps" in close, easy friendship; the in-between times when good friends have moved away and new friendships are still forming. My husband is without a doubt my best friend, but even a male as wonderful as him can't fulfill my need for friendship of the female variety.

I've come to realize, however, that I've often let my feelings of loneliness in the absence of a "best" friend overshadow the treasured friendships I've had with a good number of women.  We've shared fun times together and they've taught me truly beautiful life lessons.  As the names and faces of these talented women flooded my mind, I felt the need to reach out to them, "bests" and otherwise, to recognize and thank them for what they've taught me. What better way than social media, right?!?

This is just a start, there are so many more I need to add to this list, but here goes...

Kristi, my first San Diego best friend, who made me feel loved even before we met by reaching out and inviting me to join the ward playgroup, which has never been the same since she stopped running it.  You've taught me how to live in the moment; how to truly let go and enjoy life.  Everyone knows you're the prototypical life of the party, but you're so much more than that.  You are the type of friend who is always building others up, never shying away from any opportunity to compliment someone in your company. You're one of the least judgmental people I know, and you've taught me how to love big. I'm also constantly impressed by your work ethic and no-complaints attitude about your busy life of child-rearing and hair-doing. I'd be worn-out doing half of what you accomplish in a week.

Angela, the friend whose move still practically brings me to tears.  I look up to you in so many ways.  Your faith, obedience, and desire to follow the Lord in every way is awe-inspiring.  Your amazing homemaking and mothering skills showed me that being a mother who stays home with her children is a divine calling, something that requires great effort, and can constantly be improved. I also learned the value of not mincing words from your lovable, yet straight-forward way of dealing with pretty much everything. We all need a little less beating around the bush in our lives.

Lisa, I admire you so, so much for not being involved in social media at all.  Maybe Will will see this post and tell you to read it?  In all seriousness, the fact that you value real life over virtual life in all it forms makes you truly special in this day and age. Your unassuming and humble nature probably keeps many people from noticing many of your impressive talents (cooking! teaching!), but you are one impressive girl. Thank you for helping me see the value in using my strengths without wearing them on my sleeve. Knowing your life-story and seeing the way you have brushed difficulties off easily, almost casually in fact, makes me reflect on how blessed I am and realize that I need to mentally get over my "problems" a lot faster than I do.  Please come visit soon!!!

Debi, you sacrificed so much for your husband's education while you were here and I never heard a single word of complaint. The long days (and nights!) taking care of three very small boys must have been exhausting, and yet I never saw you without a smile and a positive word to say. Never did I hear you say a harsh word to your son--in fact, you're one of those people I can never imagine saying a harsh word to or about anyone! Attaining that attribute is one of my biggest life goals.  I'm sorry to report I am so far from reaching it.

Lindsay, the girl who convinced me of how important it is to find and pursue a dream.  Also that it doesn't need to be put off to a later time; it's totally possible to do while still being an amazing wife and mother. I can't tell you how much I admire you for what you're doing and how impressed I am by your talent.  I'm a bit jealous too!

Janine, one of the most truly authentic and relatable people I know. Thank you for always keeping it real, but fun. Thank you for showing me that dads don't always have to be the cool one; moms can jump in fountains and roll down grassy hills with their kids too. Thank you for not caring that your kids dress themselves in crazy outfits and for not washing off the marker your toddler scribbled all over her face. It gives all us other moms permission to not stress that our kids don't look like they belong in a magazine either. Thanks for being equal parts good listener and advice-giver.  That is not a common combination among women, and I feel blessed to have a friend who is both.

If there's a woman in your life who doesn't know the impact she's made on you, here's a nudge to go ahead and tell her.  I've got several more on my mind right now.