One morning I woke up and suddenly I was a mother of three! Where did the time go?! It was like all my life I dreamt of the day I would have little girls, dresses, and pig tails; sisters for life. They would be the best of friends, entertain one another for hours on end playing dolls and house, library and school. They would have that bond that I had with my four sisters (yes lots of estrogen in my home!). A bond that was like nothing you could compare.
When we found out our third was a girl (I was about 110% sure it was a boy--goes to show I’m not as in tune as I thought *wink wink*), I remember being so surprised at people's reactions. They would say, “Oh your poor husband,” or “Well now you need to have four to try for that boy!” or the best was, “Oh I’m so sorry!” I was floored by how people automatically assumed the worst with having a third girl, like it was something to feel bad about! I reassured each person who would make a snarky comment that we were so excited and that my husband was over the moon…but then again like I say, only the best dads get all girls (maybe I am a bit biased but I do feel that way in my heart of hearts.)*
So back to the day when I dreamed of having a house full of girls--it is now a reality. It’s almost surreal. Don’t get me wrong, I go through moments of “what did I get myself into?” Moments of doubting myself as a mother. Moments of feeling utterly overwhelmed and unworthy of such perfect little babies that God had blessed me with. I remember right after my second baby, feeling all sorts of those “after baby” emotions.
I vividly remember feeling sorry for myself. One day my husband came home after work with this gorgeous bouquet of flowers and I just burst into tears. It was just one of those days…being inside all day long, changing diapers, and leaking from every hole in my body. It all just sent me a wee bit over the edge.
That night, I watched a video titled “Motherhood: an Eternal Partnership with God” by Jeffrey R. Holland. It was a message that I needed to hear. My eyes swelled with tears, no longer caused by my little pity party, but instead tears of utter gratitude. The video ended, and I sat there. I could see my reflection in the now black computer screen. I looked tired, so very tired. My hair was in a greasy high bun for the third day in a row, and makeup, well who has time for that, right?!
Suddenly, I realized this reflection of a “I just want one good night's sleep” mama became someone who I admired. I am a mother. I am a teacher to these little girls of mine. I am an example of goodness. I am a leader and a motivator. I am a maid, a chef, and a nurse to these little munchkins. And this my friends is when I had an “ah-ha” moment. All these things will end. My girls will grow up and the bags under my eyes from sleepless nights will disappear (hopefully!). The endless toy pick up and diaper changing will be that of the past. So enjoy it. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Now looking back I am so grateful for that moment. It was like the heavens opened a bit and shed some true clarity on my role as a mother. A role that I was wallowing in self pity over suddenly became the most important role I could ever ask for in this life.
I went to bed that night sliding my ever so exhausted body into my nice clean sheets, excited to get a little shut eye. Suddenly, the cry of hunger came from the bassinet, and I thought, “Thank you Heavenly Father, for that sweet cry.”
[*I have to agree with Aarean--I grew up in an all girl family and my dad is amazing!]
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